Preparing to Work

I used to work in logistics while active duty in the Air Force, which is likely part of the reason my body is so messed up these days. When I got out of the military I spent about a year home with my kids, then still very small, a newborn and a one year old. Just after my diagnosis with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, I got a job as a Secretary in the base medical clinic. Shortly after I started, I was finally able to get some of the initial tests and specialists appointments due to my EDS diagnosis. With each appointment, something new was found. By the time I left that job to move up here, my diagnosis list had grown exponentially. And it seems like they all include the phrase, “you’ll be dealing with this the rest of your life.” Gee. Thanks.

With Ehlers-Danlos, I also deal with Sjogren’s syndrome, dysautonomia, herniated discs, PCOS, Sleep Apnea, Neuropathy, high blood pressure, IBS, and more. Let’s just say, I see about 9 or 10 different specialists, with at least 5 of them on a regular basis.

Going back to work always brings with it certain challenges. I love to work. Being at home these last several months gets me fidgety. Not that I haven’t been busy, I have been studying for my master’s degree. I have so much to do with school, that work will probably incredibly stress me out. I just really like the feeling of working, learning and earning money.

This great opportunity came up for a temporary position where I can learn so much in relation to my degree, and I am excited to start on MONDAY. With extremely short notice, it is a little scary, but I’m just glad I dyed my hair back to a natural color a couple of weeks ago. So now, I need to prepare myself to be able to do everything. I need to prepare for the extra stress on my body, my mind, even less sleep than I get already, only being able to do school work late at night and weekends, and the drain of potentially dealing with dramatic and petty people.

Some of the things I am doing, is getting as far ahead in school as I can right now, and setting a to do list that allows me to check off every assignment, every reading, every lecture that I have to do. This app, Wundlerlist. is working perfectly for me and allows me to make lists of different types of tasks. I have started using it for other tasks I generally forget easily. Lists are extremely useful for someone with brain fog. Also, I am doing all the cleaning and laundry that I can manage until Sunday. Sunday I am going to relax as much as I can, maybe use that day to do as much homework as possible, because Monday is going to be a crazy new schedule.

What do you do to prepare for work or to help with the stress of working or for changes in schedules or activities?

Advertisements

Forgetting to Remember

I’m reading my favorite book series again, as well as listening to the audiobook of another series I read just a few months ago, and watching a TV series that I have  seen numerous times in the past. Not at all the same time of course. I know many that do not read books again, that don’t bother watching the same shows over again. For me though, I must if I want to remember the stories. At least not remembering what happens in these stories means I get to experience the story as if it was the first time.

But books and TV and movies are the only things that I forget. I have missed numerous appointments, forgotten playdates and events. I always forget something important when grocery shopping and even detailed lists don’t always help. It is called “Brain Fog.”  It is a symptom of two of my conditions, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (a connective tissue disorder) and Sjogren’s Syndrome (an autoimmune disorder). It causes some memory loss, confusion,  problems with clarity, and that feeling like what you want to say is right behind a door in your brain and you just can’t get it open. I used to be a good writer. It was easy for me and words just flew out without hesitation. But even just this post has taken two days because the words no longer flow. Sometimes, I have to use a thesaurus to try to figure out the right word I want to use.

It helps when people remind me of past events or facts, things that happened, etc., but it doesn’t always make me remember. My spouse has gotten upset numerous times because I forget things that are important to him. In the morning he will tell me something that he needs to do, or ask me to do something for him, and minutes later, I have completely forgot. When I fail, he will tell me that he told me, and I still can’t remember. It seems that I only have clear memories of things that were very significant, and even then, only few specific details, if any.

I look at photos and even with evidence, I still find it very difficult to remember. Lately, I have really been struggling with it, because I don’t want to forget my life. I have considered writing in a journal every day so that I can look back and read about my life, but I forget to write in it.

I wish I could describe how upsetting and scary it is to forget everything, to be unable to bring my thoughts to words, to not be able to explain to my husband or to my kids why I can’t remember details, conversations, or even what day of the week it is.

Sorry, for rambling on about this, but I needed to get it out.